Gillingham FC Forum
The unofficial replacement for the official Gills message board and the home of the fantastic FREE TO ENTER Noircat Prediction League - join NOW!
The Joke Thread
Re: The Joke Thread
by phil38 » Fri Nov 20, 2015 2:50 pm
Sometimes... when you cry ... no one sees your tears... sometimes... when you are happy... no one sees your smile... But fart just one time...
- phil38
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2015 11:41 am
Re: The Joke Thread
by phil38 » Fri Nov 20, 2015 2:51 pm
Old people poke me at weddings and tell me "your next"
So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
- phil38
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2015 11:41 am
Re: The Joke Thread
by phil38 » Fri Nov 20, 2015 2:54 pm
Most commen lies ever told:
"I didn't do it"
"I'm fine"
"I have read and agreed to the Terms and Conditions"
"I didn't do it"
"I'm fine"
"I have read and agreed to the Terms and Conditions"
- phil38
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2015 11:41 am
Re: The Joke Thread
by Garawa » Fri Nov 20, 2015 7:00 pm
Ha ha, welcome to the board Phil. Love your first one!!
For all manner of stats and facts during games, add me on twitter: @Gills_Stats
Previous board user ID: gwade_871 (3440 posts)
Previous board user ID: gwade_871 (3440 posts)
- Garawa
- Posts: 7274
- Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2012 10:24 am
Re: The Joke Thread
by CadburyMan » Sat Nov 21, 2015 11:36 am
Is it just me, or did anyone else think that Les Dennis were French fire engines ?
- CadburyMan
- Posts: 1304
- Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm
Re: The Joke Thread
by phil38 » Fri Dec 11, 2015 12:13 pm
time for some christmas jokes
what says OH OH OH
santa walking backwards
what says OH OH OH
santa walking backwards
- phil38
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2015 11:41 am
Re: The Joke Thread
by CadburyMan » Fri Dec 11, 2015 4:02 pm
A young boy runs into the police station in Liverpool.
"Please come quick! My dad's getting beaten up down the pub!"
The duty sergeant grabs his cap and runs over to the pub with the boy, where they see two hefty Scousers beating the sh;t out of each other.
"Which one's your dad?" says the sergeant.
"I dunno. That's what they're fighting about."
"Please come quick! My dad's getting beaten up down the pub!"
The duty sergeant grabs his cap and runs over to the pub with the boy, where they see two hefty Scousers beating the sh;t out of each other.
"Which one's your dad?" says the sergeant.
"I dunno. That's what they're fighting about."
- CadburyMan
- Posts: 1304
- Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm
Re: The Joke Thread
by phil38 » Tue Jan 05, 2016 3:50 pm
knock knock
whoes there?
whoes asking??
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i made it up and it went down really well, but have to be in the right company
whoes there?
whoes asking??
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i made it up and it went down really well, but have to be in the right company
- phil38
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Tue Nov 17, 2015 11:41 am
Re: The Joke Thread
by CadburyMan » Wed Feb 17, 2016 10:13 am
Simple explanation of offside
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
- CadburyMan
- Posts: 1304
- Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm
Re: The Joke Thread
by lidbid46 » Sat Feb 20, 2016 5:24 pm
Let's hope no women anywhere near you or close to you see this or you may need some replacement body parts!
- lidbid46
- Posts: 1464
- Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2012 11:19 am
Re: The Joke Thread
by CadburyMan » Sun Feb 28, 2016 11:40 pm
Mother-in-law has just been diagnosed with Diabetes & Hay Fever so we're doing the usual for Mother's Day - getting her chocolates & flowers
- CadburyMan
- Posts: 1304
- Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm
Re: The Joke Thread
by CadburyMan » Thu Oct 13, 2016 1:29 pm
MATCH OF THE DAY
I was watching Match of the Day last Saturday when the wife came in to the room and suggestively said, "fancy going to bed early?"
I said, "After the football, love"
She said. "You do realise that you can record it ."
So I said, "Nice, you get the camcorder ready and I'll be up when the footy finishes.!"
I was watching Match of the Day last Saturday when the wife came in to the room and suggestively said, "fancy going to bed early?"
I said, "After the football, love"
She said. "You do realise that you can record it ."
So I said, "Nice, you get the camcorder ready and I'll be up when the footy finishes.!"
- CadburyMan
- Posts: 1304
- Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm
Re: The Joke Thread
by CadburyMan » Wed Jan 04, 2017 7:52 pm
Scientists have come up with a miraculous invention to help women drivers....Bus tickets!..
- CadburyMan
- Posts: 1304
- Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm
Re: The Joke Thread
by lidbid46 » Thu Jan 05, 2017 8:18 am
There was trouble yesterday at the Women's Liberation picnic - no one would make the sandwiches!
Thank goodness my wife and daughter never come on here; I'd be in big trouble for that!
Thank goodness my wife and daughter never come on here; I'd be in big trouble for that!
- lidbid46
- Posts: 1464
- Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2012 11:19 am
Return to Non-Football Discussion
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests