Retained, released and new signings thread

[gillsfan1066]

It's amazing to think that Akinfenwa scored more goals at age 94 ,and weighing 39 stone 3 lbs 10 ounces , than anyone at the Gills did last season. GO AND GET A 15 GOALS A SEASON MAN, and I will be the happiest camper on the trailer park. Who that guy is or,where do you get him from, I DON"'T KNOW, and I don't care but throw a bucket load of cash at some team and bring him in. Call Crawley they have a couple of decent guys, Palmer and Lubala both scoring 12,13 goals a season, go get one of them.
I think we appear to be putting together a nice team, now we just need to get out of the habit of thinking a draw is a nice solid result, GO GILLS.

[Garawa]

Gills continue their run of impressive signings by convincing Fleetwood's midfielder Kyle Dempsey to reject other League 1 offers and sign for the club.

[gillsfan1066]

Here we go again ,loading the midfield with guys that can'rt score , oh dear, do I smell another boat load of 0-0,1-1 draws coming up again this season ?

[Garawa]

Next in at the Gills is Robbie MacKenzie, a defender from Hull City who will face his old team mates (including Tom Eaves) on the opening day of the season!

[Garawa]

Side starting to take shape. Still need some full-back cover though.

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[gillsfan1066]

The great news is that if you put the 18 players named above on one side of a piece of paper, and next to their names you put the number of goals they scored in all competitions last season (and yes I know we only played 35 games) the Mighty Gills would have outscored Bolton's last season tally of 27 G/F by 4 huge goals . So lets add say another 25% for a full season I guess promotion hopeful Gillingham FC can look at scoring a total of around 40 goals this season, I sure hope we can keep both keepers on the pitch at the same time to boost our G/F G/A. columns
Got to make a call , hello, hello, Paddy Powers I would like to put a 100 quid on the score of the Gillingham /Hull game please, 100 pounds ,Gillingham 0-4 Hull. Hold on make it Gillingham 1- 4 Hull, Hull might score an own goal because their keeper might have dozed off having no fans in the stadium and having nothing to do all day.
Also give me a hundred bucks on the following.
Gillingham get more draws than any other team in the division.
Gillingham to get relegated.
Evans to walk out before the season ends.
Gillingham don't get any closer to getting a new stadium, but we will hear all about how close we are in Scally's Christmas Message to the 45 remaining Gills Fans..
Scally does not get financial backing from the Emirates (or anywhere else)
Scally's wife stops coming to games bur still earns a 100,000 pounds p.a.as Scallys P.A.
Scally starts to give more power to the everyday running of the club to his son in early October, by February 21st his son makes his first decisions, he is going to put his Dads picture on the front of the program each week. Heartbroken when he finds out that all the programs he has been writing and designing in the back room for the last year were never actually printed, he broke down, opened a twelve pack, and when asked by our roving corespondent Scoop Stevens if he felt he should return some of the 50,000 pound salary he got each year, he ran out of the ground shouting you must be crazy , It's mine, all mine, just like the team will be one day.
Asked later by Scoop if it were true that his son one day would take over running the club, Paul Scally said , and I quote, "he certainly will, but lets be honest by then we will be playing in Division One of the Combined Counties Football League with exciting away games against the mighty Jersey Bulls in Guernsey , it's in like France you know, and lets be serious even my dumb ass son won't be able to **** that up ..............................will he"?

[gillsfan1066]

Well we didn't play all of them ,just 15 in the game against Reading and lost.
.

[Garawa]

Gills latest addition sees them sign former Spurs youth player Christian Maghoma. He is a centre back who has recently been playing in the Polish 2nd division and has made 1 international appearance for DR Congo.

[gillsfan1066]

Fantastic news, another season with 27 midfield players and not a bloody soul who can score goals, it's deja vu all over again . Maghoma , a no nonsense midfield defender, Jackie Charlton reincarnated, and if he plays like him we can put Maggy down for plenty of yellows and a couple of red cards this season .

[Garawa]

Gills sign Scott Robertson on a season loan from Celtic - a midfielder who has played for them Europe.

[gillsfan1066]

WOW, another Midfielder I am now 100% convinced that Evans has a contract for as long as he likes,his only task is to keep GILLINGHAM FC in DIVISION THREE.

[Garawa]

He did this last season; brought in wide players and then left them on the bench as he played a diamond. He appears to be doing it again, very strange. He must have known Hanlan was actually off so a striker must have been the priority? Perhaps we are waiting for Bristol Rovers to cough up so we can pay for a decent replacement but are many still available?

[gillsfan1066]

He played for Celtic against a team from Transylvania , CFR CLUJ, which I don't know about you , but it sounds a lot like congealed blood to me. Of course they played the kid , there not going to risk having any of the first team bitten in the neck by a vampire FLYING down the left WING like a SILVER BULLET and trying to CROSS the ball into the goal mouth

[Garawa]

Ha ha, never thought of that. UEFA need to get a grip!

[gillsfan1066]

We now have another midfielder on loan for the year, 20 year old Josh Eccles Cake ,said to be tough on the outside but soft in the middle and loves his old Mom, came from Coventry, played a few times in there promotion season last year.